We decided to start this blog after being inspired by reading other's blogs and also to "out" ourselves so to speak to family and friends alike. Since Danny and I were married we have talked about adopting - I have several adopted cousins of various nationalities so apparently it runs in the fam. Talk is talk though...as we grew in our marriage and started our family the urge never left us...in fact, it grew stronger. After Caitlin was born we thought that perhaps the timing was right. We both felt compelled to look first in the US - so we did the first thing we could think of, called Charleston County Department of Social Services (DSS). We were very surprised at being invited to an adoption 101 orientation a few weeks later. We went. It was weird. LOTS AND LOTS of paperwork and a "different" crowd of people. There were a lot of details about a home visit and a list of criteria which we could choose to "accept" or not in a child. It was a strange feeling knowing we would be picking and choosing which children (all of whom desperately need a forever family) will come into our home. The home visit got us to thinking....we were considering a move and needed a bigger home.....didn't make sense to waste anyone's time quite yet. The timing wasn't right and we knew it. Believe God was telling us "not yet guys...not yet."
Time went on...we moved into a home we spent months overseeing the build of and got comfortable. Still talking about adopting but not feeling that things were quite right. Then I got pregnant with Luke; a sweet blessing to our family. I thought child #3 would quell our thoughts of expanding our family but that didn't exactly happen.
It was weird. Danny and I were in complete agreement about moving forward "when the time was right". Strange though because around every corner seemed to be someone else with some tie to adoption..or more so foster care. There was a couple on my street who adopted one of their children through the foster care system, there was a meeting at church about it, Brady's classmate had 2 foster children for bothers...it was almost like it was everywhere. The tap on the shoulder was getting stronger.
We did attend a meeting at church - foster care 101-ish - there were 2 agencies present: DSS and the BAIR Foundation. The BAIR foundation is more of a therapeutic agency where as DSS takes in everyone. We were curious and went to BAIR first, after talking at length with one of the counselors, we (us and the counselor) came to the conclusion that therapeutic care wasn't the road for us. It didn't fit in with the "ideal plan" we had.Our plan was simple: we wanted to foster a child under age 2 that didn't have any major "issues" that could pose a threat to our children. While that may sound harsh - bringing in an older child wouldn't work for us or for our family dynamic. As the children get older, we may reconsider but for now..we will stick to the "plan".
We stalled a few more months. God didn't. He wanted us to do something...we both felt it although we were pretty scared because this wasn't the route we had envisioned.
We contacted DSS and we were directed to A Heatfelt Calling - an agency that fields calls from couples interested in adoption or fostering. We told them we were interested in adopting a child under age 2 - ANSWER: not happenin'.....um okay.....why? There is a HUGE list (600+) of people in line to adopt that age child. In fact, DSS won't even accept applications for adoption unless you are requesting a child 7 yr old or more. Wow.....
Long story longer....we did some soul searching and a lot of praying. God was trying to tell us to move on something....but what? Adoption wasn't happening and international adoption didn't seem to be a fit either (won't bore you with details but we looked into that too!). Soooo...here we are applying to be foster parents to children two and under.
Time went on...we moved into a home we spent months overseeing the build of and got comfortable. Still talking about adopting but not feeling that things were quite right. Then I got pregnant with Luke; a sweet blessing to our family. I thought child #3 would quell our thoughts of expanding our family but that didn't exactly happen.
It was weird. Danny and I were in complete agreement about moving forward "when the time was right". Strange though because around every corner seemed to be someone else with some tie to adoption..or more so foster care. There was a couple on my street who adopted one of their children through the foster care system, there was a meeting at church about it, Brady's classmate had 2 foster children for bothers...it was almost like it was everywhere. The tap on the shoulder was getting stronger.
We did attend a meeting at church - foster care 101-ish - there were 2 agencies present: DSS and the BAIR Foundation. The BAIR foundation is more of a therapeutic agency where as DSS takes in everyone. We were curious and went to BAIR first, after talking at length with one of the counselors, we (us and the counselor) came to the conclusion that therapeutic care wasn't the road for us. It didn't fit in with the "ideal plan" we had.Our plan was simple: we wanted to foster a child under age 2 that didn't have any major "issues" that could pose a threat to our children. While that may sound harsh - bringing in an older child wouldn't work for us or for our family dynamic. As the children get older, we may reconsider but for now..we will stick to the "plan".
We stalled a few more months. God didn't. He wanted us to do something...we both felt it although we were pretty scared because this wasn't the route we had envisioned.
We contacted DSS and we were directed to A Heatfelt Calling - an agency that fields calls from couples interested in adoption or fostering. We told them we were interested in adopting a child under age 2 - ANSWER: not happenin'.....um okay.....why? There is a HUGE list (600+) of people in line to adopt that age child. In fact, DSS won't even accept applications for adoption unless you are requesting a child 7 yr old or more. Wow.....
Long story longer....we did some soul searching and a lot of praying. God was trying to tell us to move on something....but what? Adoption wasn't happening and international adoption didn't seem to be a fit either (won't bore you with details but we looked into that too!). Soooo...here we are applying to be foster parents to children two and under.
We were assigned a case worker. She's a nice lady but it's very obvious that they are taken in a dark room somewhere, waterboarded, and told they better not give anyone the slightest bit of hope that adoption is possible in fostering. The plan is to reunite (repeat after me..the plan is to reunite....whisper....but some become eligible for adoption and foster families can apply first).
Summary:
What we aren't doing:
We aren't saving the world. We are not doing this to be considered "good people". We are not doing this for attention. We aren't kidding ourselves; this will not be easy. We don't expect adoption (though we would consider it given the right circumstances).
We aren't saving the world. We are not doing this to be considered "good people". We are not doing this for attention. We aren't kidding ourselves; this will not be easy. We don't expect adoption (though we would consider it given the right circumstances).
What we are doing:
We are trusting that God is leading us down this path. It would be easier not to travel this route.
We are considering our biological children first - their safety, security, feelings, and "pecking order". We are going into this understanding it will be painful and frustrating. Eyes wide open as much as we know how. We are asking for your prayers and support - we will need it.
We are trusting that God is leading us down this path. It would be easier not to travel this route.
We are considering our biological children first - their safety, security, feelings, and "pecking order". We are going into this understanding it will be painful and frustrating. Eyes wide open as much as we know how. We are asking for your prayers and support - we will need it.
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